Frustrating neighbors and a crabby 6 year old
My homeschooling group is at the playground and I am stuck inside today. I am watch. For two nights in a row I have had kids up vomiting. Well, actually, my hubby has been up with them. There is an unwritten rule in our house that Todd (my hubby) takes care of any and all stomach issues. I do the bills, schooling, yard and broken/bloody bones. I think it is a really great deal! 
Anyway, my six year old has been in crabby mode for almost 3 weeks now. I’m not sure what has brought this on. Nature has a way of forgetting what the older boys were like at this age (hehe). His voice has risen several octaves and everything is negative in his world. “But, mom, why can’t I have $20?” “Ian’s looking at me!” “Why can’t I have exactly what everyone else is having (even though they are all having different things)?” Thank goodness he is just as adorable as can be! :-) I’m a really relaxed mom (took 11 years to get here though). The crabby behavior is grating. I’ve tried more cuddle time, more reading - it just leads to more whining. This too shall pass, I suppose. Maybe it has to do with the fine balancing act with four boys and their very busy schedules.
Another thing that has me bothered is a recent “conversation” with a neighbor. She has a 13 year old son who hasn’t been really nice to the neighborhood kids. The first time I went to talk to her, he had knocked over a fort that the kids had built with sticks. They had spent a lot of time working on it and were so angry when they saw him totally destroying it. He was also trying to break my boy’s carving sticks (something that they had worked on with their Grandfather). I foolishly tried to involve the parent because his behavior was unacceptable! Her response was that she wasn’t going to deal with this and that her son had to go inside immediately. There was no sort of communication with the son and her son looked just horrified. I talked to him for a bit and told him that he was a good kid, he had just made a bad choice (rotten one - for that matter). I told him that all of the kids’ looked up to him because he was the oldest in the neighborhood and that gave him a lot of responsibility. We talked about respect and a couple of other things.
The next problem came a couple of weeks later. All of the kids were playing tag. Logan, my oldest, came inside crying. He said that he no longer wanted to play with Trevor (the 13 year old neighbor). Apparently, a younger boy tried to trip Trevor. Trevor became angry and asked if he could push the younger boy down. The younger boy said no. Trevor asked if he could go push Logan down. The younger boy said yes. So, Trevor ran after Logan and grabbed Logan’s shirt and tripped/pushed him. Now, I should have realized after the first discussion with his miserable mother that I should just talk to Trevor. However, I was angry and I wanted to talk to his mom. I think that parents should be aware what their kids are doing.
Anyone who knows me can tell you that I am not a person who raises her voice or automatically accuses people without having both sides of the story etc. etc. etc…When I approached her I said, “Hey there, can I talk to you about something?” She immediately went on the defensive when I mentioned Trevor’s name. She said, “Well, I don’t like the fact that your kids run around with pocket knives.” I was stunned to say the least. What did this have to do with anything? I gently pointed out that my boys never ran with a knife (it was always in their pocket) and that they use the knives for whittling in the front yard (something that they had done with my dad when he was here a couple of weeks previously). I told her that I would let the boys use the knives in my back yard.
When Trevor finally came home, his mom said that she had had enough of his “stuff” and that he wasn’t allowed to play with my boys anymore. She said that she was done talking to all of us and stormed inside. What odd behavior! Trevor started to cry. He apologized to Logan and said that he realized, now, that what he did was wrong. I feel really bad for Trevor because his mother will not communicate with him and it borders on abuse. Apparently, the next day she went to the bus stop and talked to the other parents about what a horrible person I was. That doesn’t bother me nearly as much as how she treated her son. I honestly don’t know what to do. I have to live very close to this lady for quite awhile. I will continue to be a positive influence on Trevor and, hopefully, that will help a tiny bit (but, hopefully not to the detriment of my boys).
Well, James is really crabby. I’m going to go lay down with him. I’m feeling kind-of puny myself 
Taaron